Calabria

Customs and rituals for the wedding and marriage.
Weddings and parties in matrimonial tradition passed start'900.
The wedding ceremony also presents us with exceptional forms of tradition. The Scapigliati, for example, still survives in some countries of Calabria, and regards the case that family members show a determined opposition to marriage: The pretender then expect the girl to the church after Mass on Sunday, and in public, the tears from Head of the veil, a gesture that undermines the girl which will end with her husband.

Yet in many places where a widow or widower, convolano a new wedding, groups of villagers gather at night in front of their house and, armed with bells, locks, horns and tamburacci make a noise indiavolato that extends for several hours , Until the newlyweds opened the door and offer a drink to the group. This protest of the community originates in beliefs regarding the presence of the souls of the dead in this world, not only at the November 2, for which the deceased spouse may attend the daily lives of others, which has remarried. In past centuries, the noise is added insults, scorn, protest, launching pieces, satirical songs, for three consecutive evenings.

"Of vènnari and marti not spus and not parties". Then, the day set for the wedding was Saturday and Sunday. As for months, in May was excluded because dedicated to Our Lady but also because in the same month "ràgghjanu the Ciucci," that is braying donkeys. November, dedicated to the dead, not encouraging the joy that every marriage attorney.
Even Lent was "forbidden time for marriages, as requested the church. The white dress, a symbol of purity and innocence, was packed "d''a Maistra" (the seamstress). If we make a leap back in time and bring us to the beginning of the century, we see that the bride's dress had different characteristics from the current photos, still preserved, the witness. The dress of the time. packed with damask cloth and soberly colored, was garnished with Trinity and lace in the neck on the bodice and skirt around the plissettata heels. The parade, colorful and pompous, like a real procession, started walking from the house of the bride to go to church.
This, as was the tradition, was raised to stem from his father that if missing, was replaced by big brother. The husband, however, was accompanied by her mother. The bride and groom in the procession were followed by the first "shoulder" very close relatives, her brother or him, which traditionally had to be the most elegant and profile. The first led the parade usually on a shiny black dress, a fox fur with a muzzle, glass eyes and a long tail and was full of jewels; completed all with the handbag and gloves. He was delegated to wear a classic black suit and white shirt.
Behind the shoulder after the second ever relatives, but not close; off the third and fourth that ultimately could be just very intimate friends.

The neighbors put up with trays full of confetti, flower petals and a few mites, all'apparire of spouses him lanciavano him, to wish them happiness and prosperity, creating the boys' un'acchjappa acchjappa "namely confusion, jostling, quarrels , As Soldini, damned, often ended up in the cracks of basalt or under the skirts of the ladies, leaving a dry mouth and knees peeled. But not entirely, because then were rewarded with "pastetti" (biscuits) and white vermouth. Then the scene and continued the family lacked reciprocate the kindness and affection of those who had launched confetti and flowers with wide smiles, while the father of the bride launched "fists and Manatí" of confetti inside shops or on balconies, making tremble windows and mirrors. It 'worth recalling at this point a
peculiarity: the confetti had not dell'anteguerra the present, that is big, cute and the almond pelata, but were about three centimeters long, inside with a thin piece of cinnamon and covered with a patina of hard sugar, commonly called "cumbetti 'Ilinu pipe. " The ladies invited to the wedding invitation all'estetica is "ndoravano" for that day as Madonna in procession: white gold mixed with yellow topaz earrings, rings with ruby.
At that empties " 'on tafarèja", the little basket where commonly, in every family, was guarded gold. The party, until the fifties, was done at home and chairs were standing on the wall around the room to leave a larger space for the free dance. In large trays called "spasi" sweets were served home-made or bought: macaroons, pasta with the actual tack of pink, with sweet almond paste, while small in small glasses ( "bicchereji") rosolio was offered, a sweet liqueur low alcohol made with essences. Remember the Prunella, the flavor of plums, the mandarinetto, the witch, the ANISETTE, mint, drop of gold, (because yellow), Mille Fiori Cucchi with the tree and sugar hardened to the idea Snow inside the bottle, mentioned snowy mountains and used to heat, force, do feel more in shape. The tray with sweets, finished making the rounds of all the guests, was placed above the moving higher, away from children or too gluttonous. For education, for confidentiality, it took a tray, at most, two cakes, but when the waiter for a moment, distracted many are extending the hand of hide and filled the bags. The family had also offered economic opportunity
'Hard cuts "in ice cream cups with different tastes, cases Sicilian, sorbets, granite or, sandwiches and beer accompanied replaced with lunch today, offered at the restaurant.
In ancient times it was " 'a tavulata" among family members and relatives, lunch was usually based pasta "zzita pezzijàta" with meat sauce, sausages and "pizzateji' i Nunn."
All obviously prepared at home. All possessed the radio-bar, perhaps not had the necessary to eat, but to exorcise misery, suffering, grief, music and should be used to distract, away from the everyday realities certainly not rosy. He had just emerged from war to the music, poured out from the radio, helped to forget. Dances of the festival were in vogue at that time: polka, samba, waltz, tango, mazurka, while the melodious songs were those of Claudio Villa that dream was to open eyes, and those of Beniamino Gigli ripping tears in rivers.
The gifts were services glasses, cutlery, cups of coffee or tea, but the most pleasing was " 'a bag," that is an offer in cash enclosed in an envelope by letter. The anxiety of opening the envelopes was that this rite is consumed well before "the other".
At the end of the festival there were allusions, laughter, double-meaning phrases. Finally spouses remained alone for the first time. Can imagine the embarrassment of two people who are in an intimate situation, which came nearly perfect strangers!
The next morning came in the house of their spouses suocere under the pretext of bringing coffee or adjust the bed, but in fact tried to get dall'umore the auspices of the two for a happy married life fully. The penetrating gaze of the mother-in-law was established by the behavior of the child as he was at heart: the virginity of the bride.